Episode 7
Welcome to yet another Poe Blog w/Peter Francis.
"Yo ho ho, and a bottle of rum.."
-Peter Francis
Promethean Books presents
Episode Seven of
"DIDDLING: Considered as One of the Exact Sciences"
By Edgar Allan Poe
"A very simple diddle, indeed, is this. The captain of a ship which is about to sail, is presented by an official looking person, with an unusually moderate bill of city charges. Glad to get off so easily, and confused by a hundred duties pressing upon him all at once, he discharges the claim forthwith. In about fifteen minutes, another and less reasonable bill is handed to him by one who soon makes it evident that the first collector was a diddler, and the original collection a diddle.
And here, too, is a somewhat similar thing, A steamboat is casting loose from the wharf. A traveller, portmanteau in hand, is discovered running towards the wharf at full speed. Suddenly, he makes a dead halt, stoops, and picks up something from the ground in a very agitated manner. It is a pocket book, and- "Has any gentleman lost a pocket book?" he cries. No one can say that he has exactly lost a pocket-book; but a great excitement ensues, when the treasure trove is found to be of value. The boat, however, must not be detained.
"Time and tide wait for no man," says the captain.
"For God's sake, stay only a few minutes," says the finder of the book- "the true claimant will presently appear."
"Can't wait!" replies the man in authority; "cast off there, d' ye hear?"
"What am I to do?" asks the finder, in great tribulation. "I am about to leave the country for some years, and I cannot conscientiously retain this large amount in my possession. I beg your pardon, sir," [here he addresses a gentleman on shore,] "but you have the air of an honest man. Will you confer upon me the favor of taking charge of this pocket-book - I ,em>know I can trust you - and of advertising it? The notes, you see, amount to a very considerable sum. The owner will, no doubt, insist upon rewarding you for your trouble - "
"Me - no, you! - it was you who found the book."
"Well, if you must have it so - I will take a small reward - just to satisfy your scruples. Let me see - why these notes are all hundreds - bless my soul! a hundred is too much to take - fifty would be quite enough, I am sure - "
"Cast off there!" says the captain.
"But then I have no change for a hundred, and upon the whole, you had better - "
"Cast off there!" says the captain.
"Never mind!" cries the gentleman on shore, who has been examining his own pocket-book for the last minute or so - "never mind! I can fix it - here is a fifty on the Bank of North America - throw mw the book."
And the over-conscientious finder takes the fifty with marked reluctance, and throws the gentleman the book, as desired, while the steamboat fumes and fizzes on her way. In about a half an hour after her departure, the "large amount" is seen to be a "counterfeit presentment," and the whole thing is a capital diddle.
(To be continued...)
"Yo ho ho, and a bottle of rum.."
-Peter Francis
Promethean Books presents
Episode Seven of
"DIDDLING: Considered as One of the Exact Sciences"
By Edgar Allan Poe
"A very simple diddle, indeed, is this. The captain of a ship which is about to sail, is presented by an official looking person, with an unusually moderate bill of city charges. Glad to get off so easily, and confused by a hundred duties pressing upon him all at once, he discharges the claim forthwith. In about fifteen minutes, another and less reasonable bill is handed to him by one who soon makes it evident that the first collector was a diddler, and the original collection a diddle.
And here, too, is a somewhat similar thing, A steamboat is casting loose from the wharf. A traveller, portmanteau in hand, is discovered running towards the wharf at full speed. Suddenly, he makes a dead halt, stoops, and picks up something from the ground in a very agitated manner. It is a pocket book, and- "Has any gentleman lost a pocket book?" he cries. No one can say that he has exactly lost a pocket-book; but a great excitement ensues, when the treasure trove is found to be of value. The boat, however, must not be detained.
"Time and tide wait for no man," says the captain.
"For God's sake, stay only a few minutes," says the finder of the book- "the true claimant will presently appear."
"Can't wait!" replies the man in authority; "cast off there, d' ye hear?"
"What am I to do?" asks the finder, in great tribulation. "I am about to leave the country for some years, and I cannot conscientiously retain this large amount in my possession. I beg your pardon, sir," [here he addresses a gentleman on shore,] "but you have the air of an honest man. Will you confer upon me the favor of taking charge of this pocket-book - I ,em>know I can trust you - and of advertising it? The notes, you see, amount to a very considerable sum. The owner will, no doubt, insist upon rewarding you for your trouble - "
"Me - no, you! - it was you who found the book."
"Well, if you must have it so - I will take a small reward - just to satisfy your scruples. Let me see - why these notes are all hundreds - bless my soul! a hundred is too much to take - fifty would be quite enough, I am sure - "
"Cast off there!" says the captain.
"But then I have no change for a hundred, and upon the whole, you had better - "
"Cast off there!" says the captain.
"Never mind!" cries the gentleman on shore, who has been examining his own pocket-book for the last minute or so - "never mind! I can fix it - here is a fifty on the Bank of North America - throw mw the book."
And the over-conscientious finder takes the fifty with marked reluctance, and throws the gentleman the book, as desired, while the steamboat fumes and fizzes on her way. In about a half an hour after her departure, the "large amount" is seen to be a "counterfeit presentment," and the whole thing is a capital diddle.
(To be continued...)
posted by R.Chip DeGlinkta at 7:10 AM
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