It's Only Fair...

Journalist savant, Todd Price, author of the infamous GAMBIT article, "Turning the Tables", that broke the Scam Bible to an ususpecting, now aghast, New Orleans, lined up with the rest of us for the ensuing shit-storm of angry letters to the magazine's maverick editor, Michael Tisserand.

Price reflected euphemistically, "Certainly some people are upset that I didn't tell them what to think about the book."

That speaks volumes.

"Bleet!...Bleet!...Damn you, Price! Where's the f@!#ing directions?...Bleet!...Bleet!...Where does it fit in our hypocritical matrix of regurgitated moralistic soundbytes!?...Bleet!...Bleet!...Bleeeeeeeet!!!

The flock is in an uproar! We thought it only fair to print a few of their more humorous and plaintive objections-

MOMMY SPANKS TOMMY'S PEE-PEE

"I read your article "Turning the Tables" (Jan.25) and found it disturbing. I've been in the food service business all my life and have witnessed this behavior myself. I'm ashamed to say that I've participated in scams when I was younger and am ashamed of that part of my life. How Peter Francis and R. Chip DeGlinkta can publish a book in which they brag about their lack of integrity is inconceivable to me.
I'm Fortunate to have a conscience that wouldn't allow me to publicly announce my lack of morals. My mother, of course, would read any book I published. I have worked in restaurants where these practices have forced the owners to close and therefore leave many honest employees out of work. I also know many people that go out to eat very infrequently due to the fear that they'll be scammed, thus damaging the entire industry. I stopped practicing these scams a long time ago and have been promoted and compensated accordingly in various restaurants and now own two of my own Unlike the authors of this book, I became successful through hard, honest work. I hope they and their mothers are quite proud!"

-Tommy Julian
Owner, Pizza Gourmet and Brown's Diner
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10 PERCENTERS WANT THEIR CAKE AND EAT IT TOO

"Can't we just eat, drink, and be merry without glorifying petty crime in a crappy book?"

-Adam Farrington
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TRY PAXIL

"After wasting my time reading Todd Price's "Turning the Tables", I wish Gambit would have its editors kill stories like this before publication. It was vulgar and tasteless. The world needs more uplifting articles, not articles praising thieves."

-Thomas Lietz
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THE IRON VAGINA

"It is so juvenile that DeGlinkta and his partner think they are cool because they were able to scam people and steal from businesses. What a bore."

- Jessica Hawk

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Well, my hat's off to visionary wordsmith, Todd Price and his intrepid editor. Nice work guys.

As usual, to all our new found friends and enemies...

Bon Appetit!