"Can-Opener Chefs" & "Potemkin Health Plans"
Flossy's glassy stare will haunt me for eternity. She was that fagged-out old industry moll from the play the other night.
She wouldn't stop wailing about "The Industry! The Industry!", and how she couldn't bear to see anyone slap her pimp in the face after 30 years of devoted service and so forth.
"Sorry Flossy, but the emperor wears no clothes. Your pennies are falling out of your pig's ear."
I'd worked in the business too long to buy into her gin-soaked fantasy.
Where I'm from, bussers swipe your tips...owners waste your time and money on worthless Potemkin health plans...the place is infested with tragic, incompetent floordicks trying to hump everybody one way or another... cracked up waiters and bartenders hose down the House, "teabag" the guests, and shake down their fellow workers... the establishments are encyclopedias of archaic labor, health, and safety violations... "can-opener" chefs march around in pope's hats, drooling and clapping their hands like slap-happy idiots as they mix and match Sysco's lincoln logs of irradiated, hormone-injected menu items...and of course- NOBODY WASHES THEIR HANDS!
Oh yeah...whoops! I almost forgot the dear old customers (hee hee hee). Rest assured, it goes far beyond DNA and diuretics. I've seen waiters slap the tarshit out of deserving 'guests' who forgot that they were guests.
It's a rich tapestry of human weakness and depravity, and you'd better laugh to keep from crying or you won't last. In my opinion, the Pump Handles are a breath of fresh air in that dreary crowd. At least someone's making the bastards pay, not to mention providing us all with some cheap entertainment.
I'm afraid I was brought up on the other side of the tracks from Flossy's Emerald City, but alas, that's my only perspective and any other spin would be less than truthful. Anyone who doesn't like it is welcome to write their own book from their own perspective. Personally, I don't have any interest in helping to maintain the milky-white veneer of "The Industry". Although, I am willing to discuss a large sum of shut-up money. Let's talk.
Until next time, this is insider, R. "Chip" DeGlinkta, with "In the Eye of the Industry".
Have a nice day.
She wouldn't stop wailing about "The Industry! The Industry!", and how she couldn't bear to see anyone slap her pimp in the face after 30 years of devoted service and so forth.
"Sorry Flossy, but the emperor wears no clothes. Your pennies are falling out of your pig's ear."
I'd worked in the business too long to buy into her gin-soaked fantasy.
Where I'm from, bussers swipe your tips...owners waste your time and money on worthless Potemkin health plans...the place is infested with tragic, incompetent floordicks trying to hump everybody one way or another... cracked up waiters and bartenders hose down the House, "teabag" the guests, and shake down their fellow workers... the establishments are encyclopedias of archaic labor, health, and safety violations... "can-opener" chefs march around in pope's hats, drooling and clapping their hands like slap-happy idiots as they mix and match Sysco's lincoln logs of irradiated, hormone-injected menu items...and of course- NOBODY WASHES THEIR HANDS!
Oh yeah...whoops! I almost forgot the dear old customers (hee hee hee). Rest assured, it goes far beyond DNA and diuretics. I've seen waiters slap the tarshit out of deserving 'guests' who forgot that they were guests.
It's a rich tapestry of human weakness and depravity, and you'd better laugh to keep from crying or you won't last. In my opinion, the Pump Handles are a breath of fresh air in that dreary crowd. At least someone's making the bastards pay, not to mention providing us all with some cheap entertainment.
I'm afraid I was brought up on the other side of the tracks from Flossy's Emerald City, but alas, that's my only perspective and any other spin would be less than truthful. Anyone who doesn't like it is welcome to write their own book from their own perspective. Personally, I don't have any interest in helping to maintain the milky-white veneer of "The Industry". Although, I am willing to discuss a large sum of shut-up money. Let's talk.
Until next time, this is insider, R. "Chip" DeGlinkta, with "In the Eye of the Industry".
Have a nice day.
posted by R.Chip DeGlinkta at 1:00 PM
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